Blanket forts aren’t just for kids, they’re also a totally-appropriate-not-weird-at-all indoor activity for adults! What’s more fun than building a fort in your apartment? Almost nothing. We asked comedians/actors/writers: Andrew Michaan and Andree Vermeulen to show us how to build the perfect blanket fort, see below.
Winter is right around the corner, and let’s face it: we’re all having a tough time adjusting. Here in Los Angeles we’re experiencing temperatures below 70 degrees on a frighteningly regular basis. We’ve asked a lot of friends how to deal with this sudden change and they all gave the same advice: blankets. But blankets seem a little… Boring? Is there any way to make them more FUN? Turns out there is: a blanket fort. We spent weeks researching and soliciting the opinions of dozens of children aged 5-7 to figure out the best way to build a blanket fort. And here we have it: our step-by-step guide for turning your frigid couch into a kingdom of warmth and comfort.
1) Gather your supplies: blankets, dowels, pillows, rug, tapestry (a blanket can be too heavy for the middle section, so we’ve substituted in a wall tapestry).
2) Put on some fun outfits. Most people would pick pajamas, but that’s a bit obvious. We recommend a nice fitted suit and cocktail dress. And a cat. And a dog. Why not?
3) Stick the dowel in between the couch cushions. These will be the posts for the fort. Wait, do we have enough dowel? I don’t think we have enough dowel. We should have bought more dowel. Am I saying that right? Dowel?
4) Remove your cat. Inviting him was a bad idea.
5) Get overwhelmed. This is harder than it looks. How did we do this as kids?
6) Have a snack.
7) I have an idea: a broom! It’s basically thick dowel with coarse hair on the end, yeah? That’ll work. Dowel crisis averted. Ok, back on track.
8) Drape the lighter tapestry on the dowel over the middle of the couch.
9) Use the heavier blankets on the outsides to hold the whole structure in place.
10) Remove your cat again.
11) He’s upset. Tell him you still love him, but he’s on thin ice.
12) Drape the blankets and rug on the couch to make the whole fort more blanket-y and rug-y.
13) Remove your cat one final time and place him in time out. That’ll teach him.
14) Place your pillows, carefully! The whole thing could collapse with the faintest sneeze.
15) You now have a blanket fort. Congratulations!
**And they have one too. Really, you made this for them. You kept removing your cat because you wanted to surprise him.